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That way, you’re not going from, “Listen to this annoying ass thing that happened to me at the grocery store today,” to “you like that?”Your partner will give their own clues as to whether or not you’re hitting the right buttons.Another way to lead your partner into it if you’re both feeling awkward, is to set up a roleplay scenario. For example, “Remember when we were in Aruba and I was teasing you on the beach with my cleavage and later the sex was soooo hot?Lauren suggests, “Imagine I’m a sex robot you can program to do whatever you want. Imagine if I had done [insert alternative sexy activity].” Some jumping off points, should you need: “What if you realized I was wearing a strap-on under my bikini?Phone sex is a great platform for testing the waters for your secret fantasies.Say something like, “I confess I’ve always wanted you to go down on me while I rant about that totally passive aggressive thing my roommate did” or “I confess that I fantasize about understanding what a vaginal orgasm feels like.” Finding out your partner’s “confessions” are, can be great fodder for future phone sex fantasies.

Phone sex is a great and safe place to talk about the things you wouldn’t or couldn’t do in real life.Think of as many different scenarios as you can: the library, the back of your car, Paris, in an airplane, at a Costco, etc.As for roleplay scenarios, Lauren suggests: cop, sexy nurse.Be sure you trust your partner and that he/she won’t weaponize them against you later.Lauren says if you can’t answer quickly and strongly YES to the question, “do I trust my partner? Safe, sane, and consensual is the motto to keep in mind.

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